


Thor Throwing Stuff

by Wolf21Friend



Series: Collabs [2]
Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, Fourth Wall, No attacks from enemies, no deadpool is not here, trust me - Freeform, we're the ones breaking the fourth wall, what even are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28442853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolf21Friend/pseuds/Wolf21Friend
Summary: Basically what the title says. Need I say more?
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Thor (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Collabs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124600





	Thor Throwing Stuff

**Author's Note:**

> ..We had fun with this one XD This actually just started with me and Autobot just talking in Discord and trying to gain motivation and suddenly we started a roleplay of Thor yeeting stuff at story. Then, this was born.

Lydia woke up one morning, to the sounds of stuff hitting a wall. When she found the source, she saw that Thor was just throwing everything within arm’s reach except for the cats and dogs. The dogs were having the time of their lives. 

“...Thor what in the world are you doing?” asked Tony, who had also come to investigate the noise. 

“The universe writers are bored, so I am also bored and throwing stuff at the wall to try and help,” Thor said calmly, picking up a pillow replica of Hawkeye and throwing it at the pile of stuff against the wall. Jack, Bucky’s dog, barked and ran to grab it, dragging it back to the Asgardian.

“Do I even want to ask...” he said, shaking his head.

“Maybe not, but I do. Thor, why do you think throwing objects will help?”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Good point. Thor, throw Tony.

“WHAT?!”

“Alright!” Thor said, picking up the inventor and throwing him at the pile of stuff. 

**Wolfie:** Maybe I should go to the bathroom first before I continue writing so I don’t piss myself from laughing XD

“Of course, I shall wait until your return, Fair Universe Writer,” Thor said, grinning.

 **Wolfie:** Back. 

**Autobot Guardian:** Who or what should Thor throw next? Maybe throw Cap’s shield off the tower?

 **Wolfie:** YES. Shield is in Cap’s room. 

Thor grinned, hurrying out of the room to hunt for said shield. “Aye! I shall do as you command, Universe Writers!”

When he got to Steve’s room, he opened the door, grabbed the shield, and completely ignored Steve’s existence as he ran back out to get to a window so he could fly to the top of the tower. 

Steve ran after Thor, wondering what was going on that required the use of his shield, only to see a pile of stuff on the floor against the wall with Tony sitting on top. “What is going on?”

“Thor’s throwing stuff because the Writers are bored,” Lydia answered. 

“And you know what happens with the Autobot Guardian one…” Savannah sighed as she followed Thor. “She gets the most random ideas sometimes…”

 **Wolfie:** am I chopped liver here lol

 **Autobot Guardian:** You haven’t seen some of my past stories XD I put them through some insane stuff. Savvy might remember the “Candy Rain Incident” I did once…

“WE DON’T NEED ANOTHER AVENGERS CANDY VERSION OF ‘Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs’ AGAIN!!” Savannah shouted.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Yeah, it’s one of the fanfics I never posted XD

“WHERE CAN I READ THIS?!” Lydia shouted at the ceiling. 

**Autobot Guardian:** I don’t remember where I left the file.. Or maybe it was in one of my dozens of notebooks… I might rewrite it with you guys sometime if you want, though.

 **Wolfie:** I’m down. Now, while my phone changes the suggestions right when I tap, why not let Thor continue throwing stuff? And since Steve so kindly joined us....

 **Autobot Guardian:** THOR!! YEET THE SHIELD OFF OF THE TOWER!!

“Aye! And yeet it I shall!” Thor said, having reached the top of the tower by that time, and he then hurled the shield off of the tower as forcefully as he could. 

Tony laughed from his spot on the pile. “Alright, leaving my lab is totally worth it now.”

“TONY!” Steve protested. “Why is throwing a shield off the Tower fun?!” 

**Autobot Guardian:** Wait for it...

 **Wolfie:** :3 

“What?” Steve glanced up at the ceiling. 

Suddenly, the shield crashed into something invisible, just before the Guardians of the Galaxy ship materialized.

Lydia had to bite back a laugh at that. “I have a feeling that my Universe Writer was about to have a keyboard spasm..”

Steve didn’t bother hiding at least a chuckle. “Okay, I will let that go. That is funny.”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Hey, Thor! Yeet Hawkeye’s bow next!

“If you can find it!” came Clint’s voice from the vents. “I hid-“

“I have found it!” Thor said, holding up the bow.

“OH COME ON! HOW DID YOU FIND IT?!”

“I looked in the vent!”

Lydia laughed now. “Clint. You are way too obvious.”

“Shut up.”

Lydia shrugged. “Thor?”

“YEETING SHALL COMMENCE!!” Thor said enthusiastically, before he hurled the bow off of the Tower.

 **Autobot Guardian:** You think he’s spending too much time with Peter?

 **Wolfie:** Quail Peter or Better Peter?

 **Autobot Guardian:** The cute and innocent one. Not the one who thinks he’s a man but is just a dude in an alien bug mask. Seriously, that mask Quill has looks like a gas mask mixed with a cockroach face.

 **Wolfie:** Nah, I don’t think Thor’s spending too much time with him. 

Lydia laughed as she ran away from a furious Quill. “What?! I had to laugh at that! It was hilarious and it is kind of the truth.”

“I DO NOT WEAR AN ALIEN BUG MASK.”

 **Autobot Guardian:** THOR THOR THOR!!! YEET QUILL!!

 **Wolfie:** Quill is after your wife! YEET HIS ASS. 

Thor’s expression became stormy as he chased after Quill and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. 

When she realized that she was no longer being chased, she slowed to a jog and went over to Tony. “Thank you, Thunder!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Strange how Quill isn’t panicking...

 **Wolfie:** Give me a second. Switching to computer. But he will be

Quill recognized the hand that grabbed his collar, stopping him in his tracks, and panicked. “Uhhh, Thor? Not what it looks like, buddy! Really!”

“I have orders to YEET you, Quail, AND YEETED YOU SHALL BE!” Thor said, before forcefully hurling Quill off of the tower.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Uhh… Sweet innocent angel Peter, could you save Jerk Coward Peter?

“WHY AM I THE JERK?!” came Quill’s voice through the comms as he fell.

 **Autobot Guardian:** If I told you, it would be giving too much information and we’d have to wipe your memories like in the Men in Black movies. Also, you tried to keep Drax and Tora apart and that’s not okay.

“Become a dinosaur trainer and then I get yeeted off a building. Fantastic.”

Suddenly, they see a web fly by the window, catching Quill. “Miss Guardian, Jerk Coward Peter has been caught!” came Peter Parker’s voice through the comms.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Thanks, Sweet Innocent Angel!!

“You’re welcome!”

Lydia was confused. “Wait. Quail, you were a dinosaur trainer?!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Oi! Quail, stop breaking the 4th wall! This is you in Marvel, NOT Jurassic Park! Breaking the 4th Wall is Deadpool’s job!

 **Wolfie:** Says the writer as she breaks the 4th wall herself. Or are you Deadpool and not telling me?????? 

**Autobot Guardian:** *strange silence*

 **Wolfie:** oh my god. I’m writing with Deadpool. That or I broke her. 

**Autobot Guardian:** I may or may not be Deadpool’s real-life distant cousin. I share his 4th Wall powers.

 **Wolfie:** OH, by the way, Quail, you aren’t off the hook.

“WHAT?!”

Lydia blinked. “I remember seeing you down in the lab a couple weeks ago...”

 **Autobot Guardian:** …… THOR!! YEET QUAIL INTO DEADPOOL’S BASE!!

“Aye!!” Thor said, before grabbing Quill again and YEETING him in the general direction he knew that Deadpool lived in.

“WAIT NO. WHY WAS HE IN MY LAB?!?!?!” Tony shouted. 

**Wolfie:** Now you will never know ;)

 **Autobot Guardian:** Hey, Thor, how about you throw the thing I know Quail messed with off of the Tower? It’s gonna explode in the next ten minutes or so anyway.

“THOR, YEET IT BEFORE WE DIE!”

Thor ran down to the lab in the basement, grabbed a thing that was smoking and flashing bright lights, then flew up above the tower and YEETED the malfunctioning device off as far as he could over the ocean.

 **Wolfie:** Can we go back to throwing people now? I clearly remember Thor throwing a Hulk.

 **Autobot Guardian:** THOR!! THROW HULK!!

Thor laughed, even as Hulk just walked up to the roof to see what the ruckus was, and then grabbed the angry green giant by the ankle before throwing him off towards the ocean.

 **Wolfie:** NOW I’M THINKING ABOUT WHEN HULK GRABBED LOKI BY THE ANKLES IN THE MOVIE OH MY GOD.

 **Autobot Guardian:** THAT REMINDS ME!! THOR, THROW LOKI!!

“Brother, DON’T YOU DARE!” Loki shouted as he came into the room.

 **Autobot Guardian:** GET HELP!!!

“GET HELP!! MY BROTHER IS DYING!!!” Thor shouted, picking up Loki and throwing him into Tony, Lydia, and Steve.

“HOW DID YOU GET FROM THE ROOF TO HERE THIS FAST?!?!” Loki shouted as he landed on the trio.

“I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA!!” Thor shouted back.

Lydia was laughing. “That’s it. I’m going to die by laughter. Nice knowing you all!” 

Steve shrugged. “You’ve been married for how long now? And you’re just now realizing how crazy he is?”

 **Autobot Guardian:** THOR!!! GET HELP WITH SAVVY!!

“GET HELP, MY SISTER-IN-LAW IS DYING!!!” Thor shouted, throwing Savannah at the other four. The young woman just yawned as she flew through the air. Loki caught Savannah.

“THOR IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THROWING ME YOU GET THE COUCH.”

 **Autobot Guardan:** Don’t worry, we’re not making him do that… SAVVY!! GET HELP!!

Savannah just picked up Lydia with one hand and threw her into Thor’s chest. Lydia yelped as she was thrown. “SAVANNAH HOWLETTE!”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” Savannah said with a grin as Thor caught his wife.

Lydia just glared at the younger woman as she hung onto Thor. “Well, at least I wasn’t thrown out of the tower..”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Hey, Wolfie, wanna take out some anger on the Grape of Wrath?

 **Wolfie:** YES. That Grape of Wrath can get yeeted into the sun for all I care.

 **Autobot Guardian:** I COMMAND FOR THE GRAPE OF WRATH TO APPEAR!!

Thanos suddenly appeared on top of the Tower. “What the-”

 **Autobot Guardian:** THOR!!! YEET THE GRAPE INTO THE SUN!!!

Thor, having suddenly appeared on the roof again, made sure Lydia, who came with him, was a safe distance, grabbed Thanos. At the same time, a rebreather mask appeared on his face with oxygen tanks on his back.

 **Autobot Guardian:** YEET THE GRAPE! YEET THE GRAPE!!

“With pleasure!” Thor said, swinging Mjölnir to fly off with Thanos into space. Once he reached his destination, he spun to gain yeeting momentum before he YEETED Thanos into the big ball of fire. 

Tony, who made sure to put a miniscule go-pro on Thor, had seen the entire thing back at the Tower. He laughed.

 **Autobot Guardian:** The Grape is now obliterated. I am satisfied… BUT STILL BORED. THOR, THROW GAMORA!!

“Aye!” Thor said, suddenly appearing on the Tower again right as the spaceship appeared somehow levitating in the air with the exit ramp on Tony’s launch platform. Right as Gamora walked out, Thor grabbed her and threw her back into her ship.

“What the-” Gamora shouted as she flew through the spaceship. “WHY DID YOU THROW ME?!”

“The Universe Writers said to!”

“AND WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO THEM?!”

“Because they have the power to make me not exist.”

 **Autobot Guardian:** He’s right, you know. This is fanfiction. Here, even the Gods obey us, or face the consequences of a very tragic end. Just ask the Grape, if you can figure out how to contact the completely obliterated because they got yeeted into the sun.

 **Wolfie:** Oh, Thor? Can you maybe... yeet Ultron into the sun too? I hate him for possessing Tony.

“Aye!” Thor said, right as the robot appeared beside him, and he did the same for the android as he did for Thanos.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Yay!! Bad Grape gone, and Bad Tin Can gone!! Back to throwing people for fun! Oh, and Tony? Would you like the melted mass of metal that used to be your robot?

“Nah. Somehow I don’t think I need it,” Tony answered, shrugging.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Would that perhaps be because you have access to two living adamantium farms? XD

“...No?”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Good answer. Thor, throw Tony into a pile of glitter.

 **Wolfie:** Make sure it’s pink! 

“What pile of glitter?” Steve asked as Thor picked up Tony. 

Suddenly, a pile of pink glitter appeared in the room.

 **Autobot Guardian:** That pile of glitter. THOR!

As Thor threw Tony, Steve found himself being picked up as well. “HEY WHAT GIVES?” he shouted. Then he saw who picked him up. “LYDIA!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Good idea Lydia!! THROW HIM IN TOO!!

“NO!” 

“Too late!” Lydia shouted, throwing Steve into the pile of glitter. 

Steve landed on top of Tony.

 **Autobot Guardian:** And while you all were doing that, I’ve decided that Savvy was bored, so I’m going to teleport all of you to the room she’s been working on! Thor, Lydia, both of you prepare to grab someone!

In the next moment, most of the Marvel Universe superheroes were teleported into Tony’s empty extra lab, which had a bunch of targets painted on the walls, each one about three times the size of the Hulk. The moment he appeared, Savannah grabbed Loki and lifted him up.

Thor, himself, grabbed Hawkeye with a grin. “What now, Universe Writers?”

 **Autobot Guardian:** THROW THEM AT THE TARGETS!!!

 **Wolfie:** Thor. You’re in a room with targets and you’ve been throwing people and objects for the entire morning. WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK?!

“THOR WHY DID YOU CORRUPT MY WIFE?!” Loki shouted.

Thor got ready to throw Hawkeye, but in the next few moments, he found himself flying through the air. “..I must have thrown you too hard if I myself am flying.”

Loki was flying through the air next to them after Savannah threw him. But when the three of them hit the wall… they STUCK THERE.

“Nah, Thor. You got thrown,” Clint told Thor as he was stuck. 

“WHO THREW ME?!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Lydia, I know you wanted to get back at your husband, but we need him to throw more people! Thor will no longer be stuck to the wall, but the other two stay there!

Thor was suddenly standing among the rest of the group again. Lydia laughed as Thor threw her an unamused look as he picked up the next person.

 **Autobot Guardian:** GUYS GUYS GUYS!!! THROW STRANGE AND THE THING!!

Lydia picked up Strange, who surprisingly looked amused at the entire fiasco. “Sorry, Strange. You’re cool and all, but orders are orders!” she said as she threw Strange.

“No offense taken!”

“OI!! PUT ME DOWN!!” the Thing shouted when Thor picked him up. When the Asgardian threw him, he shouted, “NOT WHAT I MEAAAANT!”

“Hey, Viking Guy! Throw the Hulk again!” Sam shouted at Thor.

“I AM NOT A VIKING!!!” Thor shouted, grabbing SAM and YEETING him at the wall!

 **Autobot Guardian:** *whilst dying of laughter* YOU DON’T SIMPLY CALL AN ASGARDIAN A VIKING!!!

“Why not!?!?! Glorian called you one AND YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO HIM!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Thor WASN’T THERE, remember?

Lydia laughed. “Sam, just own up to your mistake.”

In the next second, before Sam could say anything, Thor had thrown Hulk right where Sam was, and there was enough of Hulk’s arms and legs on the walls that he was stuck right where Sam was.

 **Wolfie:** Well, Thor listened to Sam after all.

“I… do not know what came over me,” Thor said, confused.

 **Autobot Guardian:** *snickering* 

“Don’t you and Hulk fight a lot over who’s the strongest? And yet.... You don’t want to throw the Hulk?” Lydia wondered. “Uh, are you sick or something?”

 **Autobot Guardian:** He still feels bad about hitting him hard enough to send him to Earth from the moon and giving him amnesia! So… I kinda forced him to through writing. Be glad that we usually just give orders instead of forcing you to do things.

 **Wolfie:** Lyd, quick, throw Tony at the wall so Thor can finally get those mints!

“I’LL DO IT MYSELF!!” Thor shouted, YEETING Tony at the wall and making him get stuck right next to and above Loki, though upside down so their heads were right next to each other.

Lydia laughed as Tony stuck there. “THOR, DON’T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!”

Loki sighed. “Hi, Tony.”

“Oh, hi Loki.”

 **Autobot Guardian:Autobot Guardian:Autobot Guardian:** _*shuts off Quill’s phone*_ Thor is after you. Run for your life, peasant.

“WHY ME??!?!?! WHAT DID I DO?!” Quill shouted as he ran away from Thor. Thor just chased him, laughing.

 **Autobot Guardian:** You disappointed both of us writers. So now you suffer without actually dying.

 **Wolfie:** Do I really need to count all the things you did wrong, including this morning? 

“I DID NOTHING WRONG EXCEPT FOR ONE THING. WHAT ELSE DID I DO!?!?!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Well, since this is now technically a separate universe since the Grape is dead… Basically, all of your friends and allies were about to stop the destruction of the universe, AND YOU RUINED IT. BECAUSE OF YOU, DRAX AND PETER AND BUCKY WERE TURNED TO DUST ALONG WITH HALF THE PLANET.

“Oh. That. Uh...” Quill hesitated, not realizing that he had slowed down in his pace. That gave Thor an opening to grab him. And grab him he did. Just then, a girly shriek left Quill’s mouth as he was grabbed. 

“COWARDLY QUAIL, YEETED YOU SHALL BE FOR THE NEAR DESTRUCTION OF THE UNIVERSE AND CAUSING THE INNOCENT ANGEL AND THE WOUNDED SOLDIER TO BE DUSTED!!!” Thor roared, hurling Quill into the wall with as much force as he could.

“Wait. Is nobody going to talk about the girlish scream that just came from Quill?” Tony asked.

“Nope. I’m too busy dying of laughter over here!” Lydia responded. 

**Autobot Guardian:** I’m pretty sure Quail now has at least a few broken bones… Oh well. Let him suffer. He got some of my little babies dusted and I cannot forgive him for that.

 **Wolfie:** Let the throwing of people commence. Steve, did you really think we forgot about you?

Lydia picked up Steve and threw him at the wall, while Steve just shot a glare at her. “Really?”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Thor, throw Rocket. Oh, I’m sorry… Rabbit.

“I AM NOT A RABBIT,” Rocket protested as he was picked up by the Asgardian.

“Apologies, Rabbit,” Thor said, before he gently tossed the sentient raccoon at the wall and made him stick right next to Quill. 

“Quill.”

“What, Rocket?” Quill grumbled.

“This is the last time I listen to you.”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Oh, fun fact, Rocket was the only one of your team NOT to be dusted. Also, Mantis was dusted, the Grape killed Gamora for one of the stones… Groot was dusted… the Grape sorta killed Loki… Wanda got dusted… Doc Strange got dusted… Half of Wakanda got dusted… Heimdall was killed beforehand… Most of Asgard got killed… Shall I go on?

“Well, I’m clearly not dead now,” Loki shrugged, when he realized Thor was glaring at him. 

“He almost killed you?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY DID I HAVE TO YEET HIS GRAPE-ASS INTO THE SUN BEFORE I COULD TORTURE HIM!?” Thor shouted.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Again, Thor, technically a different universe, and also the topic of Loki’s many “deaths” is the center of a bunch of conspiracy theories. Apparently, after his last so-called “death” you yourself fought just long enough to ensure Thanos was gone forever, and then you just completely let yourself go and became a gamer who didn’t work out. It was very disturbing. And we actually found out that Loki wasn’t even dead by doing some real digging into the MCU facts and such. You also were suffering from a lot of PTSD. Hence why we had you yeet Thanos into the sun. We also didn’t want you to end up with Hela gouging out your eye to match your dad, so… yeah. 

“Fair enough,” Thor shrugged. “But, it still happened in those universes. So, any possible chance I could yeet Quail again?”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Not fatally, but sure. *snaps fingers and causes Quill to appear with Thor having a grip on his clothes*

Thor once again YEETED Quill at the wall, though this time he stuck next to Tony. “Ow…”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Oh, and did I mention that sweet baby angel Peter got dusted while Tony was holding him?

 ** _“HE WHAT!?!?!?”_** Tony shouted, sending death glares at Quill, who was now nervously sweating. 

**Wolfie:** Oh, should I also add that Peter also said “Mr. Stark... I don’t feel so good..”?

 **Autobot Guardian:** And Bucky was dusted while trying to reach out for Steve right before collapsing? Anyway! THOR, THROW DRAX AT QUILL!! HE WEIGHS ABOUT 600 POUNDS!!!

“Better idea,” Thor said with a grin, turning to Drax. “Destroyer, would you YEET me at Quail?”

“... What is yeet?” Drax asked in confusion.

“To yeet is to basically throw something as hard as you can!” Peter said cheerfully.

“I mean, Thor looks less heavier than Drax, so LESS PAIN!” Quill said.

Drax picks up Thor and YEETS him at Quill.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Actually, Thor weighs at least 40 pounds more than Drax does...

“WAIT WHAT!?” Quill said, as Thor landed on him. “Ow....” And a second later, Thor reappeared next to Drax. 

Lydia, at this point, was rolling on the floor laughing. “This is the best day of my life! Well, actually no, the second best day!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** Thor!! Make sure that, other than Lydia, you throw EVERY PERSON IN THAT ROOM.

“WAIT, WHY NOT LYDIA?!” Bucky shouted as he was thrown at the wall.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Because I do not want to be responsible for him being thrown to the couch. That’s Wolfie’s thing.

 **Wolfie:** Way to call me out, Autobot. 

**Autobot Guardian:** And proud to be one! Yeah, guys, you Avengers weren’t my first huge fandom craze.

“RUDE!” Tony shouted from his position on the wall. “WHO WAS IT?!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** As my fanfic alias might suggest, it was Transformers. You know, giant alien robots that can disguise themselves as various vehicles and are currently in the middle of a giant interstellar civil war? The sweet baby angel might get the reference; he’s probably at least seen some of the cartoons and I PRAY he has NOT seen the movies. Michael Bay ruined my childhood.

“I know, right?!?! Bay is a TERRIBLE director!” Came Peter’s voice from the ceiling as he had avoided being thrown at this point. Then he realized he gave his spot away. “Uh..”

 **Autobot Guardian:** … You DO realize that the ceiling is sticky too, right? Also, I AM SO GLAD YOU AGREE WITH MY OPINION ON MICHAEL BAY!! HE TURNED OPTIMUS PRIME FROM A FORGIVING AND KIND PERSON INTO SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO RIP PEOPLE’S FACES OFF!!! AND HE KILLED OFF OR IGNORED THE EXISTENCE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!

 **Wolfie:** Yup. 

“Can you pretty please get me off the ceiling?”

Peter then appeared right next to Thor, who carefully picked him up.

“Wait, no, Mr. Thor, please! I’VE BEEN A GOOD BOY!” To his surprise, Thor just gently tossed him to land right next to Tony. 

“Kid, I don’t think you’re safe completely from being thrown. At least you were gently thrown, otherwise he’d be having a face-to-hand meeting with my suit’s glove,” Tony told Peter.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Plus, he knows that I’d be VERY ANGRY if he harmed the sweet baby angel. I think Thor fears the writers more than he fears anything else in the world.

 **Wolfie:** Especially when it’s two writers who can easily cause his life to be trouble. Especially when one writer loves angst.

 **Autobot Guardian:** You don’t want to know how creative I can get when punishing characters I hate. I’ve ACCIDENTALLY caused other co-writers to have nightmares with stuff I come up with. I’m serious, it was an ACCIDENT, and I gave them nightmares. I don’t know how I do this. I somehow write violence and suffering better than cute and fluffy stuff.

 **Wolfie:** And she says she likes fluff. _LIES._

 **Autobot Guardian:** I do like fluff!! I just somehow write bad stuff easier!

Then, Lydia realized something. “Uh, thanks a lot, Quill! I think your girly scream blew out my hearing aid.”

Then, it suddenly started working again.

 **Autobot Guardian:** Didn’t want you to only get half of what’s going on. Hard to enjoy something when you can’t hear, right, Hawkeye?

“Wow,” Clint huffed. “Way to call me out.”

Lydia shrugged. “Thank you, Writer!”

 **Autobot Guardian:** No problem! And I couldn’t resist teasing our favorite deaf Legolas! THOR, THROW SIF!!

Loki smirked. “Yes, Brother, for once I agree. Throw Lady Sif.”

Thor shrugged and picked up Sif to throw her at the wall. She landed next to Hulk.

 **Autobot Guardian:** You know… just throwing heroes is boring…

“What does that mean, Writer Guardian?” Thor asked, right after he’d thrown Grace to make her stick next to Bucky.

 **Autobot Guardian:** _*claps hands*_ Time to play darts with Hydra!!

Just then, the door whooshes open allowing the group inside to see about a dozen Hydra agents who were just standing there. 

**Autobot Guardian:** Here are your darts!

Lydia shrugged and reached for one of the soldiers. The Hydra soldiers tried to run, but a mysterious force made them unable to move. Lydia threw him at the wall.

 **Wolfie:** Oh, sorry not sorry Hydra. You can’t move. 

**Autobot Guardian:** Yep! We’re bored, and you are now throwing darts! THOR!

The Asgardian grinned as he picked up two of the Hydra agents, and took aim at a different wall before throwing them both, causing them to stick spread-eagle on either side of the bullseye.

After a while, the only two still standing on two feet on the floor were Thor and Lydia.

 **Autobot Guardian:** *claps hands together* Well, that was fun! After Wolfie does the story about the mission Lydia lost the hearing on one side in, we’ll be working on the candy rain! You all may now go back to what you were doing, sans Grapehead and Evil Tin Can!

oOoOoOoOo

Hours later, when everyone was unstuck and clean, Quill was walking down the Tower’s hallway on the third floor, humming a tune. Then, he heard the sound of a repulsor glove charging. He froze.

“Did you really think I forgot about what Writer Guardian said, Bug Face?” Tony growled, aiming his gloved hand at Quill.

“Uh....Maybe?” Quill shrugged.

“You’re not getting away that easy, soldier,” Steve said, holding his shield tightly.

Quill ran. “I’M SORRY!” However, he could not get out of the Tower. He couldn’t even break any windows.

The next hour was spent with the team watching Peter Jason Quill running for his life away from a pissed off Irondad and Captain America. When they finally caught him, they beat him black and blue while in one of the windows, the images of two young women at laptops could be faintly visible, both of them laughing their heads off.


End file.
